Sacrifice, this is what I am called to as a follower of Christ. The Holy Spirit has really been convicting me on this one. To give my ALL for the sake of His gospel. I have had a passion for missions for as long as I can remember. When I was young and my faith and hope was new in Christ the passion I had for Him and His heart for the lost was such a powerful thing in my soul. Over the years the things of the world took a strong hold in my heart and that fire for the lost was buried deep in my heart. I was concerned only for myself and the desires of my heart not His. Last year when I went to Tanzania I was clinging to the small hope that the passion I had as a child would just come back when my feet touched the ground. I see how immature that was and how all I really needed to do was truly come back to the heart of the Father. I'm not saying this whole entire time I had been faking it but, for the most part I was living life in my own strength with an occasional prayer to the one who gave everything for me.  Why I don't know. I cry just thinking about all He does for me and I in turn give him a small part of my heart and life.

 

I can't say anything crazy or miraculous has happened over the past four weeks here but He has definitely been making some shifts in this hard heart of mine. I picked up the book Radical by David Platt before my trip here and really started to dig into it more over the past couple of weeks. I finished it a couple days ago with a conviction in my heart to give my EVERYTHING for the sake of the Gospel. I am committing to a year of radical living in which time I will; pray for the entire world, read through the entire Word, sacrifice my money for a specific purpose, spend my time in another context, and commit my life to a multiplying community of believers. I realize this sounds totally crazy and ridiculous to a lot of you and that's ok. I am starting to come to the conclusion that my life as a follower of Jesus Christ should look crazy and radical to the world. I was living a worldly life with Jesus on the side.

 

So something crazy that has already happened as a result of the conviction in my heart is that I will be spending about four extra months here at City of Hope. Like I said its goanna look crazy and radical! The idea of staying longer was mentioned to me early on in the trip by some good friends. I really wanted to love the idea but my heart was clinging to things back in the states that I really didn't want to give up. I knew deep down that the right thing to do was stay. After all I wanted to spend a couple of years in Africa not to long ago and here was the perfect chance to have a longer term commitment. What was my problem? Honestly I kinda tried to ignore the suggestion. Finally one night I was getting really frustrated about it and began to share my frustrations with Sarah. I was a mess, I was crying my eyes out because I knew I was being really selfish about wanting to be back in the states for things but at the same time I really wanted the Lord to give me a passion to stay. Sarah was so patient with me and just sat listening to me and all the while silently praying that God would give me a peace about staying. Then like a light switch He flooded my heart with a peace that surpasses all understanding and whispered to me stay. He gave me the strength to sacrifice what I had been clinging so desperately to. And just like that He started to work things out for me to stay.

 

I realize that I have probably said a ton of really uncomfortable things and many of you my feel I was to open and vulnerable with my heart, but I realize that when someday when I stand before my God I will never be criticized for being open but rather the opposite will be true. I want to thank you all so much for your prayers and all the other ways you have supported me in this journey! It encourages my heart tremendously to know you are praying for me here. I love you all so much and look forward to sharing more with you in the coming months.

 

Blessings~ Nancy

 

So much has happened this past year.  Much to rejoice in, like going to Tanzania, becoming a nanny for the family I traveled there with, being a part of an amazing new body of believers, getting another little nephew, the list could go on.   There was also sorrow,  relationships torn and strained, and the loss of a very dear loved one.   This year taught me much, that's for sure.  

Well I'm starting this new year off with another great adventure.  Come the first of February I am getting on a plane bound for the same little village in Tanzania I lived in for three months last winter.   I am so excited and thrilled to be going back!  This time I will know many of the little faces eager to greet me when we arrive.   I feel like I have a better view of missions this time as well.   Last time I was like I'm just going to love all these people.  That's not a bad thing but Jesus also called us to make disciples of all nations not just to love all nations.   I believe my heart is more in line with my Saviors this time.  Its going to be hard, I'll really have to commit to learning the language, as well as truly investing in the kids lives and really getting to know their hearts.  Its scares the mess out of me, but I'm determined to live with my heart open and without fear of hard things or messing up.

Please pray for me to keep my heart open and that I would have deep intimacy with the Lord listening to His Spirit and following His guidance in all I do there.  I want to bring Him much glory and truly help further His kingdom in Ntagacha Tanzania this winter. 

 Blessings~ Nancy
 

Life after Africa

Yeah I know its a little late to be talking about this after getting back almost four months ago.  But hey better late than never right?

Every one told me when I got back I would go through this huge culture shock.  I didn't really, at least not in the way people said it would be.  I was really happy to be home, I had missed my family and friends back in the states a lot!  When I got back I missed being at City of Hope some but not a whole lot.  I fell right back into my old life like I had never left.  I felt guilty for not missing the kids more.  I expected I was going to miss them like crazy right when I got back and then it would kinda fade away.  Its amazing though because instead of me feeling that powerful love for them right when I got back it has deepened and grown into something real, something that could only come from the heart of the Father.  I wish desperately that I could be there right now!  To hold those precious children in my arms and show them your great love Jesus!  I have learned so much after coming back from that special place.  He has been showing me so much more of Himself and who I am in Christ.  It just blows me away when I look back on my life and see were I was and now am. 

I have had the great and amazing opportunity to move in with the Hopkins family and continue helping them with the kids and everyday house work (you know washing dishes, laundry all that stuff).  I love it.  Not because it is always fun and easy but because it is hard and even painful sometimes.  Because the people around me challenge me to really look deeper ,to live life fuller, and to know You deeper.  Its a huge change to move 5 hours from your parents and a lot of your family and friends.  Its what it took to put me out of my comfort zone and look to my Savior for all my needs.  It gave me a brand new perspective and look on life, and especially on God. 

So here are a few pictures from my trip I thought you all might enjoy.

 

 

                                                                                                                          

Hope

So I have been really bad about keeping in touch with people mostly because internet and cellphones have been a bigger pain to use than I thought they would be. Still that's not really the best excuse I guess.  It's also been really hard to put into words what I have been experiencing here in Tanzania.  If you asked me to sum up everything in one word I think I would have to say hope.  I came here thinking that when my feet hit African soil this switch would turn on inside of me and I would get back all of my heart and passion for Africa.  Well boy was I disappointed when my heart remained in its state of really not feeling anything.  I was angry with myself for not feeling the love I thought I should have for these people.  The Lord slowly started to open my heart and I began to have hope again.  Hope that I could love these people, hope that I was really loved and treasured by my Savior and people around me, just hope to live.   I love that I am at the City of Hope!   

apple pie

Feeling like fall today as I baked these mini apple cheddar pies.  I thought I would just share some verses that I have read recently.

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love. 1Corinthians 16:13-14

Therefore,my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. 
1 Corinthians 15:58
 
Blessings~ Nancy

Spontaneous Photo Shoot

Christina had so much fun the other evening taking these pictures.  I had just walked in the back door after chores and both she and Mom exclaimed that I looked like a "picture" with the wild flowers I had picked and my hair down.  Chrissy proceeded to drag me out the door with her camera to take some pics in our neighbors field.  It was fun for me to see her really enjoying the photo shoot, she normally gets frustrated when taking pictures of people as apposed to nature and what not.  She said she had been doing some reading up on how to pose people for pictures and I think that helped a lot with how the photos turned out.  Anyways hope you all have a fabulous weekend, and remember to keep your focus on the things above.

Blessings~ Nancy 

Kitchen & Dining Room

So here are the promised pictures of the kitchen and dinning room.  I know they aren't the greatest pics but its better than none.  The couch and chair as well as the desk you see in the dining room won't be permanent, they are only their because the rooms they will eventually occupy are full of other stuff (example, tools, boxes, and junk).   We still have some little projects and organizing for these rooms but for the most part we are considering them done. :) 


Just a little encouragement for your day...  
 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?  Romans 8:31-32

Blessing~ Nancy